26th Jumadul-Ula 1433
20 April 2012
The Jumu’ah Naseehat
BACKBITING AND SLANDER (PART THREE)
Hadhrat Jabir Radiallahu anhu narrates that the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wasallam said: “The Muslim who forsakes a fellow Muslim brother (and does not come to his assistance) at a time when his honour is at stake, will be denied the help of Allah when he is greatly in need of it, whereas the Muslim who stands by a fellow Muslim at a time when his honour is at stake, Allah will grant him His assistance when he will need it most.”
Islam is a noble religion. By following the teachings of Islam, one’s personality and character shines with nobility. Whereas character is moulded and shaped by childhood, wealth and associates, nobility is only achieved by following and implementing the wonderful teachings of the Noblest of Mankind – Nabi Sallallahu alaihi wasallam. Each and every advice that flowed from his sacred lips, brims with justice, honesty and fairness.
Islam challenges us to scale the highest of heights of Insaaniyat (humanity) and propel our souls to a realm of delightful purity where our souls can roam around the Arsh even as we exist here on earth.
Backbiting as explained before is bad. It is bad for the rooh. It is bad for the health. It is bad for one’s peace of mind. It is bad for society. It is bad for the Aakhirah. Islam forbade it strictly. With the taufeeq of Allah and with some courage, we try and desist from indulging in this evil activity. But at times this is not enough.
At times we are called towards something better, something greater, something more purifying, something more pleasing to Allah and His beloved Rasool (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam).
How often do people say: “I just keep quiet” or “I just want to stay out of it”. They are fully aware that a fellow Muslim brothers’ or sisters’ honour is as stake and at risk. They know the truth, they feel the truth, and they understand the truth. However, in order not to offend their wives/families/friends/colleagues they prefer silence and confine themselves to a dungeon-like existence.
The above Hadith warns such cowards that Allah will abandon them and deny them His help when they need it most. On the other hand, if they stand up and speak the truth and defend the honour of an innocent person, then Allah, Most High will assist them when they are in dire straights and desperate for assistance.
Hadhrat Moulana Thanvi Rahmatullahi alayhi’s incident:
Moulana Thanvi Rahmatullahi alayh had a servant by the name of Ayaaz. The servant was responsible to purchase things from the market place.
One day, Moulana came home. His wife was extremely agitated. “I sent a message with a child to the servant that he should purchase certain things from the market. He has not done so. It is time that he is reprimanded.”
Moulana: “Let me first make some inquiries from him and verify why he did not purchase the items. We cannot jump to conclusions and make gheebat, though he is only a worker”.
Ayaaz was called to the house. He sat behind a screen. Moulana Thanvi asked him why he did not abide to the instructions given. Ayaaz replied that no one informed him of anything. The small child was called and asked whether the instructions were relayed to Ayaaz. The child shyly said that he had forgotten to give the message! Ayaaz was absolved from all blame.
Moulana Thanvi’s wife was upset and fuming: “By conducting this court case, you have insulted me in front of a worker”
Moulana Thanvi responded: “My wife, rather have this case sorted out now instead on the Day of Qiyamah.”
Such was the fear of Allah, the fear of accountability, the fear of Jahannum, the fear of a worker lodging a case in the court of Allah Ta’ala. Wallah, what Ulama were they, our pious predecessors. Allah Himself attested in His Holy Kalaam: “And it is the Ulama who amongst His bondmen FEAR HIM (Allah)” (22 PARAH)
How often do we not backbite about our maids. “Naddi ne chorelo ohe” The maid must have stolen it, we brazenly claim and accuse. A few days thereafter the item is found. So haughty, dead and arrogant are we that we will never apologise to the maid for falsely accusing her. Are we not behaving like the Pharoahs, pumped with pride? Will that innocent poor maid not have a case against us in the Court of her Creator? Is her value and humanity of a lesser degree because she is just a maid? We go for Umrahs, keep fasts and wear Hijaab but inside us the overwhelming majority are rotten to the core. We do not even qualify for the grand title of being a human being. May Allah forgive us and grant us Hidayat to make our Islaah. (Ameen)
1. Question: I have backbitten someone. How do I ask him for forgiveness?
Answer: If he/she does not know about it, then you do not have to ask for forgiveness.
2. Question: What is the best method to break the habit of backbiting?
Answer: Go and tell the person directly and ask him for forgiveness.
3. Question: I backbited a person who has passed away. How do I gain forgiveness?
Answer: Make Du’a for him
4. Question: Nowadays there is much talk about the Haraam activities of the so-called ‘Halaal certifying bodies’. Is speaking bad about them backbiting?
Answer: It is dependent on the intention. If the intention is merely to bad mouth someone with a holier-than-thou attitude, then it is Haraam. If on the other hand, it is done to warn the creation and to alert them to harm, then it is meritorious.
5. Question: A person backbit me. I am aware of it and so is she. Am I within my rights to refuse her apologies and not to forgive her?
Answer: You should forgive the person in view of her apologies. However you are within your rights in not associating with her, due to the pain you experience when seeing her.
6. Question: A person inquired about the character of someone who proposed to his daughter. Will I be guilty if I mention the faults of the suitor?
Answer: Not at all. In fact, it is Waajib to inform the father. Beware, let it not be that your silence destroys the life on an innocent girl.
7. Question: Why do people backbite?
Answer: Because they have an image of being holy and good and they wish others to thing highly of them.
8. Question: I had a good relationship with a person. Things went sour. Though we asked forgiveness from one another, I still feel very uncomfortable in his presence. Please advice.
Answer: Understand something very, very well: You are human. Forgiveness does not necessary mean that you have to be the best buddies. Forgiveness means that you do not wish him harm. Forgiveness means that you will assist him/her if there is a dire need. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to mix and eat and associate like you used to before. Forgiveness means that your heart is clean. Do not let Shaytaan deceive you by making you feel no good because your relationship is no more on the same level as before.
This is how our great Sheikh, Moulana Maseehullah Rahmatullahi alayh explained this topic.
(Next issue: The noble husband, Insha-Allah)