Talaaq or divorce is an extremely delicate issue. In Islam it is described as the most detestable of all lawful things. Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said , “The most detestable of lawful acts in the sight of Allah is Talaaq” (Abu Dawud).
However, despite Talaaq being so abominable, the Shariah has permitted it. At times, when the marriage has broken down irretrievably precluding any hope of reconciliation, the best option is divorce so that the parties can honourably part and go their respective ways to start afresh.
Before a marriage reaches this point, every effort should be made to consult the Ulama and resolve problems and impediments that may lead to divorce. Adherence to the Laws of Shariah and practical implementation of the Sunnah are vital factors in any marriage for the preservation of tranquility, harmony and love.
Despite the decisive nature of Talaaq, it is something grossly misunderstood by most Muslims. Like any other article of Deen, it is imperative for Muslims to learn and understand the laws governing Talaaq. Ignorance has been the primary cause of impulsive and unintentional divorce, resulting in heartbreak for many couples.
What is Talaaq?
Talaaq is the Islamic equivalent of divorce. In Islam a man could divorce his wife by using the words ‘Talaaq’ or ‘Divorce’.
Who can issue Talaaq?
Talaaq is the sole prerogative of the husband. A woman cannot issue Talaaq. If she does, it will be ineffective. Once the husband issues Talaaq, it becomes binding and the wife has no choice. It will be effective and decisive. However a woman has the mechanism of Khula if she wishes to opt out of the marriage.
When does Talaaq come into effect?
Once the husband addresses his wife with the words Talaaq (divorce) in such a tone that he himself can hear these words, divorce comes into effect. This is irrespective of whether he uttered them in private or in public, whether his wife heard him uttering these words or not. It also will not matter whether his utterance was intentional or unintentional or he was joking about the matter or uttered it in anger. In all cases, divorce takes place. Talaaq may also come into effect in certain situations with certain other utterances, besides the words of Talaaq or divorce. (Refer to Talaaq Baa’in below)
What are the different types of Talaaq?
1. Talaaq Raj’ee (Revocable Divorce)
Talaaq-e-Raj’ee is when a divorce is issued with a word having an express meaning of divorce, for example, “I divorce you”. The implication of such a Talaaq is that it can be revoked verbally or physically by the husband (without the wife’s consent or approval) within the iddat period. Issuing this type of Talaaq does not terminate the nikah immediately. There is no need to remarry in order to reconcile. A person may give two Talaaqs in this way and both would be Raj’ee. After the expiry of the iddat, the Talaaq-e-Raj’ee is converted to a Talaaq-e-Baain.
- Talaaq Baa’in (Irrevocable Divorce)
Talaq-e-Baain is when a divorce is issued with a word explicitly stating that the Talaaq is Baain (irrevocable) or with words having an indicative meaning of divorce with the intention of divorce, for example, “Go away”. The implication of such a divorce is decisive and the nikah is terminated with immediate effect. It cannot be revoked even within the iddat period. A renewal of nikah is necessary for a reconciliation. There is no need for the wife to marry someone else first.
- Talaaq Mughallazah (Irreversibly Binding and Decisive)
If the husband issues three divorces simultaneously or separately in one sitting or different sittings, it will be valid and the husband and wife will become strangers to one another. They cannot reconcile. It is haraam (prohibited) for the couple to remarry each other after this. The couple will only be permitted to remarry if, after the iddat period the women married another person, the marriage was consummated and thereafter the second husband passes away or divorces her. Only after serving her iddah of the second marriage will she be permitted to remarry her previous husband. Such a Talaaq is known as Talaaq Mughallazah.
How does Talaaq come into effect?
1) The husband clearly utters: “I divorce you” or “I divorce my wife.” In other words, he issues the divorce in such clear words that there is no possibility of taking any other meaning from these words. Such a divorce is known as Talaaq-e-Sareeh (divorce in clear terms).
2) The husband does not utter the words of divorce clearly. Instead, he speaks in ambiguous terms from which divorce could be deduced as well as some other meaning could also be taken, e.g. the husband says: “pack your bags and leave.” These and other such statements could imply divorce or could mean otherwise. Utterance of such ambiguous statements, in which there is the possibility of several meanings, is known as Talaaq-e-Kinayah (divorce in unclear terms).
Other examples of Talaaq-e-Kinayah are:
“You are no longer my wife.”
“I have separated you from my house, go away.”
“Pack your bags and go back to your house.”
In all of the above instances if the husband intends Talaaq then Talaaq Baain will occur, otherwise not.
Important Masaail (Rulings)
î Iddat refers to that period, when a woman is compelled to remain within her home, for a specified period, due to termination of her Nikah through divorce or demise of the husband. Ulama should be consulted for requirements during iddat.
î Iddat of Talaaq for a menstruating woman is three (3) complete menstrual cycles. Iddat for a woman who cannot menstruate is 3 complete lunar months, and iddat for a pregnant woman is childbirth.
î Talaaq should be issued to the woman whilst she is in the state of tuhr (purity). It is detestable to issue Talaaq while a woman is in haidh (menstruation). If a man does issue Talaaq to his wife in the condition of haidh, Talaaq will be effective and the wife will commence sitting in iddat immediately. However, since the haidh in which the Talaaq was issued is not regarded as a complete cycle, her iddat will terminate when three full cycles are completed. The cycle in which Talaaq was issued will not be considered complete.
î If the divorce is issued in clear terms, divorce will take place the moment the words are uttered. This is irrespective of whether one had the intention of divorcing his wife or not, or whether he issued the divorce jokingly.
î When only one or two divorces are issued in clear terms, the first type of divorce will take place. That is, the husband has the choice of revoking the Talaaq and keeping his wife until before the expiry of her iddah.
î By uttering the divorce once, only one divorce will come into effect – not two nor three. However, if he utters the divorce three times, or says: “I give you three Talaaqs” three Talaaqs will take place, and not just one.
î A person issued one divorce. As long as the wife is in her iddah, he may issue her a second or a third divorce. If he issues a second or third divorce, it will be valid and come into effect.
î A person addressed his wife as a “divorcee”. Divorce will take place even if he says this jokingly.
î Talaaq is also issued in writing by SMS, fax, phone, etc. Therefore utmost caution is required.
î The rules of Talaaq are complex. Slight variation in wordings could change the ruling. A ruling must always be sought from a learned authority (Aalim/Mufti) by putting the case forward factually and honestly.
Common Errors and Misunderstandings
The primary reasons for the Talaaq being so rampant are two fold, ignorance and uncontrolled anger.
Ignorance and anger are two dangerous diseases which every Muslim should seek refuge from, and ensure that he is not a victim of these.
It is most painful to observe the sheer negligence and frequency with which this decisive practice occurs today.
There are several misconceptions which are common with regard to the occurrence of Talaaq.
Talaaq only occurs with issuing three Talaaqs.
It can be easily deduced from the above information that this is untrue. In fact issuing three talaaqs puts the couple in a position where they cannot remarry, and is a most foolish act.
Once the husband has issued the first Talaaq
the remaining two Talaaqs fall automatically.
As foolish as this may sound, it is something which some people believe. Until the husband does not issue a second or third Talaaq no Talaaq will fall automatically.
If the husband and wife separate for more
than three months they are divorced.
The husband has sole prerogative of issuing Talaaq, and until he does not utter the words of Talaaq it will not take place, irrespective of the length of separation, even if it be for years.
The husband verbally utters one, two or three Talaaqs but
claims that he did not intend them, or he uttered
them in anger, hence Talaaq does not occur.
This concept is incorrect and unacceptable. Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said, “ Three things are such, whether said in jest or earnestly they are effective, Nikah, Talaaq and revocation of Talaaq. ” (Abu Dawud and Tirmizi)
Mere utterance of the words Talaaq in a sane state of mind with or without intention will cause Talaaq to be effective.
There is a general misunderstanding that Talaaq is impermissible and sinful. This is incorrect. Talaaq is not sinful if justified, and in circumstances maybe advisable. The merits and demerits of Talaaq should be understood in correct perspective. One should resort to an experienced Aalim for advice.
Rules of Iddat
Upon the husband’s death, or divorce, or the termination of the marriage contract through Khul’a (divorce at the instance of the wife), or the annulment of the marriage by some other manner, the woman has to remain staying in one house for a specified period of time. Until this period expires, it is not permissible for her to go elsewhere. The act of passing this period is called Iddat.
If the Iddat or waiting period is observed following the death of the husband, it is called ‘The Iddat of Death’. If observed following Talaaq (Divorce), Khul’a (divorce at the instance of the wife) or for some other reason, it is called ‘The Iddat of divorce’. There are some differences in the rules and periods of the two types of Iddat.
Iddat of Death
Allah Ta’ala mentions the ruling of this Iddat in the Holy Quráan:
For those men who die amongst you and leave behind wives, they (the wives) must confine themselves (Spend Iddat) for four months and ten days. (Baqarah)
A woman whose husband dies should remain in Iddat for four months and ten days. She should live in the house she used to live in at the time of her husband’s death. Leaving the home is incorrect.
This rule applies equally whether
- a woman has had intimacy with her husband during his life-time or not
- she had any kind of privacy with him or not
- she had come to live with him or not
- she menstruates or not
- she is old or young
- she reached the age of puberty or not.
However if the woman was pregnant at the time of the demise of her husband, she should remain in Iddat until the child is born. This applies irrespective of the number of days or months. Even if the child was born just an hour after the husband’s death, the Iddat will be over.
A woman in Iddat may move freely in the house. She does not have to restrict herself to just one room.
If at the time of receiving the news of her husband’s demise, a woman was away from the house, for example, to take care of some family chore, or was away visiting neighbours, or visiting her own parents/relatives for a few days (with or without the husband), she should immediately return home. This rule applies irrespective of where the husband passed away, at home or away.
A woman whose displeased husband had sent her to her parental home should, upon her husband’s demise, return to the home of her husband and complete her Iddat there. As a rule, Iddat is completed in the house which was the permanent residence of the wife at the time of her husband’s death. Her temporary residence is not taken into consideration. It is obvious that her visit to her parent’s home was temporary.
If the husband died on the first of the lunar month and the woman is not pregnant, she will have to complete the period of four months and ten days in accordance with the lunar calendar. And if the husband died on a date other than the first, she would have to complete the period of one hundred and thirty days (four months of thirty days each and ten days) – Maariful Quráan.
Iddat begins from the time of the husband’s death even if the woman is not aware of his death and even though she had made no intention to observe Iddat.
If she only received the news of her husband’s demise four months and ten days thereafter, her Iddat stands completed. She will not have to observe Iddat all over again.
If for instance, a woman hears about the death of her husband several days later, but there is uncertainty about the exact date of his death, Iddat will be counted from the later date. For example, there is a doubt whether the husband died on the first of November or first of December, the Iddat will be counted from the first of December.
The Iddat of Divorce
When the husband divorces his wife, she will have to spend her Iddat in the matrimonial home. She must not leave the house during the day nor at night, nor can she make nikah with anyone else. Once she completes three haydh periods, her ‘Iddat will be complete and she can now stay wherever she wishes. This rule will apply irrespective of whether the man issued one two or three divorces, and irrespective of whether he issued a talaaqul baa-in (irrevocable divorce) or a talaaq-ur-raj’ee (revocable Talaaq). The same rule will apply in all cases.
The ‘Iddat for divorce is only compulsory on the woman who is divorced after her husband had engaged in sexual intercourse with her or, they did not engage in sexual intercourse but they met in privacy and thereafter her husband divorces her. If they did not meet in privacy and the person divorces her; she does not have to observe the ‘Iddat.
If a young girl who had not experienced haydh, or an old woman whose haydh had terminated is divorced, then their ‘Iddat will be three months.
A young girl who has not experienced haydh as yet was divorced. She therefore commenced her ‘Iddat on the basis that it will be three months. However, after a month or two she began experiencing haydh. Her Iddat will now be calculated from the time her haydh commences. She will therefore have to remain in ‘Iddat until the completion of three haydh periods. Her ‘Iddat will not be complete until the completion of three Haydh periods.
If a woman is pregnant and her husband divorces her, she will have to remain in that house until she delivers her child. When she delivers her child, her Iddat will expire even if she delivers her child a few days after being divorced.
If a woman is divorced while she is in her haydh, this haydh will not be considered. Her ‘Iddat will be complete up on the expiry of three haydh periods after the haydh that she is presently experiencing. However, it should be noted that it is a sin to divorce a woman while she is in her haydh.
If she is observing her ‘Iddat in the same house wherein the man who issued a talaaqul baa-in to her is also living, she will have to observe strict Purdah with him.
Maintenance during the period of Iddat
The maintenance and providing of shelter for a woman observing the Iddat of Death are not the responsibility of her in-laws. She also does not have the right to take her maintenance out of the Estate of her deceased husband. However, she will be entitled to her share of Inheritance.
The maintenance and providing of shelter for a woman while she is observing her ‘Iddat of divorce are waajib on the very man who divorced her.
Iddat in the case of pregnancy or miscarriage
As stated earlier, the Iddat of a pregnant woman ends with the birth of the child. The ruling however differs in the case of a miscarriage. If any body part of the miscarried foetus was formed, e.g. the mouth, the nose or the fingers, the Iddat will end upon the miscarriage. If there was no formation of any limb, the woman will be regarded as not being pregnant, and as a result, her Iddat will be four months and ten days.
The maximum period of pregnancy in the Shariah is two years. Shariah does not recognize pregnancy beyond the period of two years. If a woman was pregnant at the time of her husband’s demise, but did not deliver the child within two years thereafter, she would be regarded as not been pregnant. Her Iddat had ended four months and ten days after the demise of her husband.
In the case of a multiple conception, e.g. twins, Iddat terminates at the birth of the last child.
The death of the husband and the Iddat of Talaaq
If the Iddat of Talaaq expires and the former husband passes away, there is no Iddat of death. Such a divorcee does not inherit from her former husband’s estate.
If the husband passes away before the expiry of the Iddat, the ruling will be as follows:
- If the husband gave his wife a revocable divorce (Talaaq-e-rajée) the wife should observe her Iddat of Death and she will inherit from his Estate.
- If the husband had given his wife an irrevocable divorce (Talaaq-ul-Baain) while he was in good health, and the husband dies before the expiry of the Iddat of Divorce, the woman will complete the Iddat of divorce. She will not observe the Iddat of Death nor will she inherit from the husband.
- If the husband, with the consent of the wife, gave her an irrevocable divorce (Talaaq-ul-Baain) during his final illness (Maradhul Maut) the woman will complete the remaining period of the Iddat of Divorce. She will not observe the Iddat of Death nor will she inherit from the husband.
- If the husband had given his wife an irrevocable divorce (Talaaq-e-Baain) during his final illness (Maradhul Maut) without the consent of the wife, then her Iddat will be the longer of the two Iddats. She will inherit from the husbands estate.
Things not permissible during Iddat
A woman observing the Iddat of death should neither go out of the house nor remarry, nor indulge in beautifying herself through make-up. During Iddat, all these things are Haraam (Forbidden) for her.
The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi wa sallam) has said that it is not permissible for a believer to mourn for anyone for more than three days, except the widow whose period of mourning (when not pregnant) on the death of her husband is four months and ten days.
Observing a period of mourning is Waajib:
- It is necessary (Waajib) upon every adult and same Muslim woman to observe Iddat (mourn) the death of her husband. It is not necessary upon a woman who is a disbeliever, insane or did not attain puberty.
- It is Haraam (strictly prohibited) to make an express proposal of marriage to a woman observing the Iddat of Death. It is also Haraam to contract a Nikah with such a woman. Such a nikah will be null and void.
- It is Haraam upon a female observing Iddat to apply perfume, to don ornaments, jewellery or decorations of any sort, to wear eye makeup, such as Kohl (antimony) or galena, to chew or apply colour on the lips, teeth or gums, to apply oil on the head, to comb the hair (in order to beautify herself), to use henna, to wear silken or other gaudy dresses.
- It is permissible to bath and wash the hair during Iddat.
Using Beauty Aids as Medicine
- If there is a need to apply oil to the head because of a headache or lice, only such oil may be used that has no scent.
- If there is a need to use Surma (antimony) as a balm for the eyes, it will be permissible. In such a case it should be applied at night and cleared in the morning.
- A female in Iddat will be excused to wear silken clothes due to itchy skin.
Leaving the home due to necessity
- It is compulsory upon the divorcee or widow to complete the Iddat in the same home which was her permanent residence at the time of divorce or her husband’s demise. However, if does not have enough money to pay basic needs, shelter and food, she will be excused to leave the house during daytime to work. She should ensure that she adheres to the laws of Hijaab and spends the nights at her house. It is also imperative that, during the day, she returns home immediately upon being free from her work. Spending any time outside the house over and above that which is necessary is not permissible. If her employment takes up some part of the night as well, she will be excused, but she should spend the major part of the night at her own home.
- A woman who owns a cultivated land, farm, property or business which requires her personal attention and management and there is no family member available to assist her, she will be excused to leave the house.
If such a place is equivalent to the distance of Safar (88 kms. or more), then she may travel there with her Mahram (person with whom marriage is permanently unlawful).
- If a woman observing the Iddat of Death is ill and it is not possible to arrange for a house-call by a physician, or if there arises an emergency for her admission to hospital, it will be permissible to take her to hospital or another city if there is a need.
Shifting residence during Iddat under compelling circumstances
A woman may move to another home in order to complete the Iddat in the following situations:
- If the house was rented and she does not have the means to pay the rent.
- If her share of the house which she had inherited from her husband is insufficient for her to live in and the other inheritors do not allow her to use their share.
- If she cannot observe Purdah in the home.
- Any such situation in which her life, wealth or chastity are not safe.
- If the house in which she is observing Iddat collapses, or there be the danger that it will.
- If there is a strong apprehension that she is likely to lose her honour, life, property or health if she stays there.
- If she fears living alone and she does not have a trustworthy person to live with her. If the fear is not severe, then it will not be permissible to move out of the house.
- Similarly, if the house in which she is passing her Iddat be haunted and she has a strong fear of demons, so much so that she cannot bear the very thought of living in a haunted house, or there is some open evidence of harm caused by such evil presence.
In a situation where shifting from the house of Iddat is permissible, it is necessary the woman shift to the closest possible house where her life, wealth and chastity are safe. Unless necessary, she should not move to a more distant house. She should pass the remaining days of her Iddat in the house to which she shifted.
A woman on journey at the time of her husband’s demise.
Different situations have different rulings, the details of which follow:
- If a woman receives the news of her husband’s death, whilst she is on Safar and was within 88 km from her hometown, she should immediately return home and complete her Iddat there, irrespective of how far her destination is. This applies whether or not she has a Mahram with her.
- If she had already covered 88km, then
2.1. If her destination is within 88 km, she may continue her Safar and upon reaching the destination, she should complete her Iddat there. Whether or not she has a Mahram with her.
2.2. If her destination is more than 88 km away and
2.2.1. if the place is uninhabited she has the choice of either returning to her hometown or continuing her journey to her destination and complete her Iddat there. It is advisable for her to return to her hometown.
2.2.2. if it is an inhabited place where she could stay, she should remain there.
- If in case no. 2.2.1, en route to her hometown or her destination, she passes by such an inhabited town where she could stay and her life, wealth and modesty are safe, she should stay there and complete her Iddat.
Negligence of Iddat
Many widows and divorced women do not observe the laws of Iddat. Going out openly, visiting Bazaars and attending social functions are activities undertaken in absolute disregard to this injunction of the Shariah. That is a major sin.
Leaving the house without a Sharíi reason
The excuses under which going out of the house during Iddat are permissible have been listed earlier on. If a situation of a different nature arises under which going out of the house appears to be necessary, the situation should be discussed with a trustworthy Aalim in order to ascertain the Shar’ee validity of the excuse.
Many women observing Iddat leave the house on flimsy excuses, such as to show up at a meeting, ceremony, function, etc.
Going out in Iddat without valid excuse does no annul the Iddat
Some people assume that the Iddat of a widow who comes out of the house without a valid excuse breaks the Iddat and it would be necessary for her to commence her Iddat again. That is incorrect.
Talaaq - Divorce - Iddat - Talaq - Iddah