The children of the Ummah are the future of the Ummah. How wisely has it not been said: Give me the child of today and I will give you the man of tomorrow! Great personalities were moulded during their childhood. Thus we need to be extremely careful how we rear our children. Moulana Thanvi rahmatullahi alayh has given the following advice with regards to how to bring up children:
If it is a girl, do not give her the habit of worrying too much about plaiting and parting her hair or wearing very stylish clothing.
When a child persists or insists on having something, do not fulfil all his wishes or else he will become spoilt.
Prevent the child from talking very loudly or shouting. Especially if it is a girl and she speaks in this loud shouting manner, you should scold her and reprimand her. If you do not do this, this habit will remain when she grows up.
Safeguard your child from speaking or mixing with children who have evil habits, who are not interested in their learning, who are in the habit of wearing stylish clothes or eating extravagant dishes.
Always inculcate a hatred for the following actions in your child, i.e. teach him to hate the following acts:
(a) becoming angry,
(b) speaking lies,
(c) envying someone,
(e) carrying tales,
(f) defending whatever he does or says,
(g) to unnecessarily "make up" stories,
(h) speaking excessively without any benefit,
(i) laughing unnecessarily or laughing excessively,
(j) cheating or deluding someone,
(k) not thinking about or not differentiating between good and bad.
If any of these acts or traits are found in him, stop him immediately and warn him.
Occasionally you should give them some money so that they may purchase whatever they wish.
Teach them the etiquette and manners of eating, sitting and standing in gatherings.
The habit of waking up early should be inculcated in the child.
When the child reaches the age of seven, inculcate the habit of offering salât.
As far as possible, make him learn under a religious-minded teacher.
Jamiatul Ulama Comment: This is very important. Allowing an immoral, sinful person to teach our children in private non – Muslim schools etc. will surely have disastrous consequences. A pious person, on the other hand, will influence our children to do good deeds and have respect and the Fear of Allah Ta’ala, In shaa Allah.
Hadhrat Hamdoon Qassaar (Rahmatullah alayh) was among the Auliya of the Salafus Saaliheen. He was the Mureed of Hadhrat Turaab Bakhshi (Rahmatullah alayh). He was the Shaikh of Hadhrat Abdullah Mubaarak (Rahmatullah alayh), The people of his era used to revile him considerably, for they could not understand his talks pertaining to spiritual subtleties. But, the Auliya had the highest regard for him.a
One day he visited a sick friend who was in his maradhul maut (last illness). The moment the friend died, Hadhrat Hamdoon (Rahmatullah alayh) extinguished the lantern. The people who were present asked in surprise for the reason. He said: “As long as he was alive, the lantern and the oil in it belonged to him. The moment he died, the ownership of his heirs was established. It is therefore not permissible to use the property of the heirs.”
When the elders and Aimmah of Nishapur observed the piety and wisdom of Hadhrat Hamdoon, they requested him to begin a series of lectures to benefit the people. Hadhrat Hamdoon said: “It is not permissible for me to deliver wa’z (lecture) because my heart is trapped in the dunya and in jah (self-esteem/vanity). My talks will not benefit you. My talks will have no good effect on your hearts. It is a mockery of Ilm (Knowledge of the Deen) to make statements which have no good effect on the heart. It is to debase the Shariat. The talk is appropriate of such a person whose silence harms the Deen and whose speech eliminates falsehood.”
The humility of Hadhrat Hamdoon and his belief of his own sinfulness were overwhelming in him. He also made reference to the Hadith: “He who remains silent regarding the Haqq is a dumb shaitaan.” Since he believed sincerely that his talks will be devoid of benefit, neither benefitting the people nor guarding the Deen, he declined the request to deliver lectures.
After searching for bodies of the Shuhada (martyrs) in one of the areas of Shaam, the Mujahideen came across the body of a 16-year-old boy who became shaheed. They found in his pocket a small notebook in which he used to write his sins during the week. If only we could call them “sins!”
Monday: I slept without wudhoo.
Tuesday: I laughed with a loud voice.
Wednesday: I prayed Qiyaam-al-Layl (Tahajjud salaah) fast.
Thursday: When we were playing I scored a goal and I felt pride.
Friday: I didnt complete 1000 durood on Nabi (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) and only reached 700.
Saturday: One of the army generals made salaam first and beat me to it.
Sunday: I forgot the morning athkaar. (Zikr)
Subhanallah! Let every youngster think about how this brother prioritized his life. Sleeping without Wudhu, laughing aloud, reading Salaah fast, pride, not reciting Durood, not making sa-laam first and forgetting to make Thikr were viewed as “sins” by him. And we, who commit adultery and abandon Salaah and the Sunnah and remember and obey Shaytaan instead of Allah, feel no pangs of any form of remorse!
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