Coping with Rearing Children

Coping with Rearing Children

– Responding to the Call of an Anguished Mother

1. Children are gifts and Amaanat from Allah Ta’ala. When presented with a gift what is one’s attitude and how does one treat the gift?

These are realities you have to consistently reflect over and motivate yourself with. Spend time daily – even though the only time you have is whilst breastfeeding your child – and meditate. Rest your mind and concentrate your thoughts on your heart. Think of Allah’s presence and that He is with you. He has bestowed you with offspring and He will most definitely aid you in their upbringing. It is not that you have no one to assist you. The greatest of help and succour we receive is from Allah Ta’ala.

2. Recite during the course of the day and night constantly: “Laa Ilaaha illa anta, subhaanak. Innikuntuminaththaalimeen,” (Surah Ambiya).This was the Istighfaar and Tasbeeh of Hazrat Yunus (Alaihis Salaam) and other Ambiya (Alaihimus Salaam) in times of hardship and tribulation. It is proven to produce tranquillity and give the reciter strength, physically and spiritually.

3. A few minutes of exercise daily will, Insha Allah, provide the strength and courage to carry out your daily work. You are aware of your weaknesses in raising your children. Some time devoted to strengthening yourself physically by doing some brisk walking or stretching exercises – off course in the privacy of your home or the privacy of your yard — will be refreshing and give you mental fortitude, Insha Allah.

4. Allah Ta’ala has chosen the home as your bastion of haya and for the preservation of your Imaan. Be contented and realize that your success and happiness in this world and the Hereafter is in making the best of this role which has been Divinely-decreed upon the Mothers of this Ummah. Driving is not permissible for women.

5. Home-schooling is not easy. However, in these times the safety of our kids is in them living within the protected confines of their homes. If you decide to teach your children, your husband should also devote some time to his children’s education. Another alternative is to send them to a home of a pious teacher for tuition.

6. The earlier you separate your children in their bathing the better for their moral-upbringing. Children are very sensitive from even the tender age of three. It is, therefore, advisable that you bath the two elder kids separately. Furthermore, this may be more beneficial for their health just as it is for their moral upbringing.
May Allah Ta’ala grant you physical and spiritual comfort. May He make your task easy. He says in His Glorious Kitaab:
“He has created death and life to test who among you display the best of actions.”
(Surah Mulk)