“The Better Connection”

Do you know of actions that result in: Du’aas going unanswered; good deeds being rejected; barriers being formed from entering Jannah; breeding hatred and animosity and having one’s punishment meted out in this world???

A person who breaks ties with his relatives has the above to contend with.

Examine the following Ahaadith:

In Bukhari and Muslim, Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) is reported to have said, “The one who severs family ties will not enter paradise.”

Hadhrat Abu Hurayra (Radhiallahu Anhu) has reported Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) as having said, “The deeds of the children of Adam (AS) are presented to Allah every Thursday; the good deeds of the one who severs family ties are not accepted.”

In Bayhaqi, we read, “Mercy does not descend upon a people among whom there is one who severs ties of relationship.”

Hadhrat Abu Hurayra (Radhiallahu Anhu), a narrator of over 5000 Ahaadith, shunned making Du’aa in the presence of a person who severed family ties. He is reported to have insisted on anyone who had broken family ties to leave the gathering as it was an obstacle to Du’aas being unaccepted.

A Hadith appearing in Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud states, “There is no sin more befitting, that its punishment be meted out by Allah to its perpetrator in advance in this world, along with what He stores up for him in the next world, than oppression and severing ties with relatives.”

On the other hand, a person can attain Barakah in his life by joining family ties. Hadhrat Anas (Radhiallahu Anhu) is reported to have said, “He who wishes to have his provisions increased and his term of life prolonged should treat his relatives well.”

Domestic and family problems are often caused by jealousy, suspicion, unfair distribution of work load, inheritance, financial affairs, prying into one’s personal life, etc.

People often say, “I will only do good to my relatives if they do good to me.” This is quite contrary to the Hadith which says, “The one who joins ties of relationship is not the one who requites others (return good for good – evil with evil) but the one who joins ties, is the one who does so when others sever it.”

A person came to Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) and said, “O Messenger of Allah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam), I have relatives with whom I try to unite ties of relationship but they sever relations with me. I treat them kindly but they treat me badly. I am gentle to them but they are harsh to me.” He replied, “If you are as you say, it is as if you are applying hot ashes to them and you will not be without a supporter from Allah as long as you do so.”

So before you shut the door on your relatives, remember you could be shutting the door of Jannah on yourself.

The Qur’aan in many places states that the near relatives should be given their rights. Commentators mention that the relatives are your parents, your offspring, your brothers and sisters, your paternal uncles and aunts, your maternal uncles and aunts and then all other relatives.

We are required to spend on them, visit them, care for them and show compassion to them.

Abu Musa al-Ash’ari (Radhiallahu Anhu) reported Allah’s Messenger (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) as saying that every Muslim must give Sadaqaat. He was asked how this could apply to one who had nothing and replied that he should help one who was in need and sad. He was asked what he should do if he did not do that and replied that he should enjoin what is good. He was asked what he should do if he did not do that, and replied that he should refrain from evil, for that would be Sadaqaat for him. (Bukhari; Muslim)

So if you cannot do good to your relatives, don’t harm them, become “the better connection”.