Teach akhlaaq to the children
Luqmaan ؑ then advised his son to keep forbidding evil and become the safeer (ambassador) of good and have patience over the taunts and abuse of people for this is a great act of courage. “Ya bunayya aqimi alssalata wamur bialmaAAroofi wainha AAani almunkari wasbir AAala ma asabaka inna thalika min AAazmi alomoori”. “O my son! establish regular prayer, enjoin what is just, and forbid what is wrong: and bear with patient constancy whatever betide thee; for this is firmness (of purpose) in (the conduct of) affairs.” Truly it is a great act of courage to become a daa’ee of deen, safeer of deen, khaadim (the one who serves) of deen and that too in such an environment, where the evil has become good, where a man who is supposed to preach righteousness has become a fraud, where the thoughts have become obscure and extreme and where one tends to get all sort of taunts from people. The father here is teaching the son a lesson to act courageously and to become a preventer of evils and a minaara (light-house) of noor of righteousness and to lead such a life. This is how the father is giving his son taleem (education) and teaching him akhlaaq (good manners). “Wala tusaAAAAir khaddaka lilnnasi wala tamshi fee alardi marahan inna Allaha la yuhibbu kulla mukhtalin fakhoorin.” “And turn not your face away from men with pride, nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily, Allah likes not any arrogant boaster”. Do not scold the people, do not act as prideful for Allah ﷻ likes humbleness, stay within your limits, treat the human as human, everyone came to this world naked and it is the generosity of Allah SWT that He grants some more and some less. Let there be no show of pride through your act or word.
Takabbur (pride) is a great misfortune. The shaitaan did so many sujud but takabbur made him the cursed one. He fell before the eyes of Allah SWT and Allah’s SWT lanat (curse) fell on his neck. The takabbur can come because of money or beauty and in fact when one do not have proper tarbiat, takabbur can come because of few tasbiyaat and nafil acts. Do not belittle anyone if you see any sin in him as belittling is a worst sin than the other person’s sin. Have mercy on the sinner, be compassionate towards him, make him understand with love but do not look him down. “Waiqsid fee mashyika waoghdud min sawtika inna ankara alaswati lasawtu alhameeri.” “And be moderate (or show no insolence) in your walking, and lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the braying of the asses.” Being an insaan, do not act like a donkey.
Take care of the children for they are the blessings from Allah ﷻ
These are the methodologies of the tarbiat of children. Such a tarbiat can only be given by a father who wants to make his children a means of capital for the akhirat. If there is a father who can teach better than Luman-e-Hakeem, then definitely Allah ﷻ would have mentioned His name in His kalaam. No father can give more enlightening thoughts than this father to his son. This is a great favor of a father towards his son. There is a great prevision in this tarbiat. Such was the manner of Muslim’s tarbiat. The kuffar’s tarbiat is entirely different for their knowledge is adulterated and their tarbiat too is adulterated as it is based just on this dunya. The knowledge of Muslim is complete as it is based on dunya and akhirat and his tarbiat is also kaamil as it is based on dunya and akhirat. When a Muslim grows with such a tarbiat, he becomes a complete man. So do consider your children as blessings from Allah ﷻ. For Allah’s sake, take this new generation towards Allah ﷻ and towards eemaan. Or else if the tree gets dried and their Imaan gets dried, nothing will be left. Unfortunately the recognition of Muslim children has come to an end that they cannot be recognized among people. When they are in airport or when they sit among other youngsters, none gets up for salah when the time for salah comes and they cannot be recognized if they are Muslim or not. The parents carry responsibility in this. Our beloved Prophet ﷺ said that when son of Adam dies, every deed comes to an end except the three and righteous children are one among them. As long as the righteous child lives and the effect of tarbiat is shown, his good deeds will reach his parents. Let Allah ﷻ protect us from the case wherein if a child’s tarbiat is not done in the proper way, the effect of his sins too will keep reaching the parents. So for Allah’s sake, do not put your children in danger for few pennies of this dunya and do not spoil the children who are such a great blessings. Let Allah ﷻ help us all to act on what we hear, read, write and preach. Ameen
Source: theheartopener – Hazra Maulana Abdus Sattar hafizahullah