WOMEN’S SHAR’I RIGHTS: NOT ONLY FOOD, CLOTHING AND SHELTER…

Moulana Thanvi Rahmatullahi alayh:

Remember that marriage is not only giving the wife naan-nafqah and fulfilling one’s carnal passions. In fact, open Imdaadul Fataawa and see what the first right is. Hazrat Thanwi (Rahmatullahi alaih) lists numerous rights of the wife.

The first right he lists is: to approach the wife with beautiful character and to treat her in a beautiful manner.

This is the major reason for the divorce crisis endemic in our community. The man thinks, and all the parties think, of nafqah, but the first right of beautiful character is conveniently ignored. If a boy does not have beautiful character he is neither ready for nikaah and nor should his proposal be accepted.

Then listen to the second right Hazrat Hakeemul Ummat lists: to tolerate the difficulties the wife gives.
It is a foregone conclusion that there will be circumstances when the husband will be hurt by what the wife says or does, but this has to be tolerated in a civil and beautiful manner. In these times lifting the hands on the wife is symbolical of ‘talaaq’ and hatred. Love should be inculcated and fostered. Fostering love can never be through beating and reviling the wife.

In Rasoolullah (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) we have the most beautiful conduct and example. Although his wives hurt him on occasions – just imagine, the Greatest of all mankind being hurt – but just see the reaction of Rasoolullah (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam)!!! He never cursed, swore, hit and went into tantrums. This is the noble character we should follow.
What did Rasoolullah (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) exhort his Ummah with in Hajjatul Widaa’? He proclaimed before the Ummah: “Accept from me naseehat of treating them with khair.”
Rasoolullah (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) used the word ‘Khair’ which is so embracing. It covers all forms of good. In other words Rasoolullah (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) impressed upon his followers and gave wasiyyat to his Ummah to do everything good to their wives. This is how this Holy Bond subsists and bears fruit. A domineering attitude is doomed.

This may come to you as a shocker but the truth is that wives have a right to even speak boisterously to their husbands. Listen to this: When the baraa-at of Hazrat Aishah (Radiallahu anha)was revealed and her mother told her to thank Rasoolullah (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) she point blankly said: “Wallah, I am not going to stand up and thank him. I only thank Allah Azza Wa Jall Who has exonerated me.”

Hazrat Thanwi comments: “Apparently this is a severe statement on the face of Rasoolullah (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam)…but Rasoolullah (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) was not perturbed and grieved at all because this was out of the jealous notion of women that they possess their husbands.”

Hazrat Thanwi explains beautifully that this is their right. Read the kitaab Huqooq-e-Mu’aasharat. It is of tremendous benefit to all husbands, Insha-Allah.