PERFECTION FOR WOMEN IN DEEN

“Be with those who are perfect in Deen.” (Surah Taubah, 119)
The way to achieve perfection in Deen is mentioned here. Keep the company of those who are perfect and accomplished in the Deen.
For men, it is easy to adopt this directive. Worthy of consideration is: How can this be achieved by women? This question is indeed important. The answer to this is that there are two ways. One is that women should benefit from those men from whom men benefit. However, this has its drawbacks. Firstly, men and women cannot associate. Secondly, due to pardah (hijaab rules) the Shaikh cannot have full congeniality with them. And without this congeniality, benefit is limited. And it is not permissible for them to come in front of the Buzrugs and abandon their pardah.

Yes, those women whose fathers or husbands are accomplished, they can gain spiritual direction from their respective fathers or husbands. However, not everyone’s father or husband is perfect in Deen. Thus this method also has its limitations.
The other way is for men to gain benefit from accomplished men and for women to gain benefit from accomplished women. It is regrettable, however, that there is a dearth of women who are accomplished in the Deen.
This leaves us with only two alternatives. One is for those women who have buzrug males among their mahaarim. They should derive their Deeni perfection from them. A woman whose husband is a Buzrug should acquire perfection from her husband. The problem here however is that either the husband is the slave of the wife, otherwise he definitely is an equal partner. Women do not respect and show honour to their husbands as required for a Murabbi (spiritual mentor). And without this protocol benefit is not possible.
Secondly, the wife does not hold the husband in such light as she holds another pious person, no matter how great the husband may be. Our Hazrat Haji Saheb’s (Quddisa sirruhu) first wife, despite being very obedient to him, insisted on getting bai’t to Hazrat Moulana Gangohi (Rahmatullahi alaih). Hazrat Moulana Gangohi asked: “Why don’t you become bai’t to Hazrat Haji Saheb? How can it be appropriate to become bai’t with me when Hazrat Haji Saheb is in our midst?” She replied: “There is no doubt in Haji Saheb being a Buzrug. But I do not want to be bai’t to him. I wish to be bai’t with you.”

I don’t know whether Hazrat Moulana Gangohi accepted her into bai’t or not. Nevertheless, just consider this. She didn’t want to take bai’t from Hazrat Haji Saheb, rather from his Khulafa.
The second wife of Hazrat Haji Saheb, we have heard, was exceptionally pious. Those women who saw her say that the only difference between Hazrat Haji Saheb and her was that Haji Saheb was a male whilst she was a female, that’s all. It is said that she understood the Mathnawi of Moulana Roomi really well. She was engaged to Hazrat Haji Saheb first. For some reason Hazrat broke the engagement. The marriage was called off. She married elsewhere. After her husband’s death Hazrat then married her.
So, if a woman cannot benefit from her husband and there is no one perfect in Deen among her mahaarim then this leaves us with another method. She should study the kitaabs, malfoozaat and mawaa’iz (books, sayings and bayaans) of the Buzrugs. The writings and sayings of the Buzrugs have the same effect which is found in their suhbat (company). Moulana Roomi (Rahmatullahi alaih) says: “When the season of the flowers ends then get their fragrance from their essence. When the sun sets, then light up your home with lamps.”

The Road To Allah
Selected Discourses of Hazrat Hakeemul Ummat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi
(May Allah illuminate his resting place)