Loving One’s Wife is a Sign of Wilayet

This refers to a sign of one who has acquired Allah Ta’ala’s friendship – in this regard, Hadhrat Moulana Maseehullah Khan Rahmatullahi Alaihi said:

That is why Hadhratwálá (Moulana Ashraf Ali Thaanwi Rahmatullahi Alaihi) used to say: “That person who has love for his wife what is real and true ‘ishq – what doubt can there be in his being a wali of Alláh Ta’laa?” This is what Hadhratwálá said.

Its explanation is as follows:

The apron of wiláyet demands an extremely exquisite and fantastic degree of chastity. (This means that, in order to aspire to the high state of being a saint -a wali of Allah Ta’laa- an extremely high degree of modesty and chastity are absolutely essential.) So, upon having true ishq for one’s wife, it follows that one will not gaze lustfully at others. Thus, this person will have an extreme degree of chastity and, therefore, what doubt can there be that this is the degree of chastity required for wilayet and, therefore, of this person being a wali (Friend of Allah Ta’laa)?

To love one’s wife- to have ishq for her – is not ‘ishq for ghairullah (love for somebody other than Alláh Ta’ala). This ‘ishq is for the sake of Alláh Ta’laa. Huzúr Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam’s du’á was:

اللهم ارزقني حبك وحب من ينفعني حُبُّهُ عِندَكَ

O Allah! I am asking for the rizq of Your muhabbat (love) and the muhabbat of that person whose muhabbat will be an aid to Your muhabbat.

Therefore, such muhabbat for one’s wife will be an aid and reinforcement of one’s muhabbat of Záte-Bárí Allah Ta’ala. This can, therefore, not be considered to be ‘ishq of ghairulláh. Such a person will be an embodiment of chastity.

The proof of this is the following: To what a high degree did Rasulullah Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallams not have ‘ishq for Alláh Ta’laa! Yet, despite this, Rasúlulláh Sallallaahu Alaihi Sallam also had ‘ishq for Hadhrat A’ísháh Radhiyallahu Anhu. Despite this ‘ishq for her, Rasululláh Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam fulfilled the rights of equality with regard to his other wives. Even in his terminal illness Rasúlulláh Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam observed the finer points of fulfilling their rights, but nevertheless, he eagerly waited for the turn of Hadhrat A’ísháh Radhiyallu Anha. When the other wives came to know of his feelings, that Rasululláh Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam anxiously awaited the turn of Hadhrat Aishah Radhiyallu Anha that he experienced difficulty in going to each one in turn, all the other wives unanimously said: “Stay with A’ísháh from now onwards.” The point is that Rasululláh Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam had ishq for Hadhrat Aishah Radhiyalluhu Anha. So, to have ‘ishq for one’s wife is not contrary to dawáme-tá’at – nay, to the contrary, it is included in dawáme-tá’at.

Source: “For Friends”