The Husband and Wife Relationship – Teachings of Hazrat Moulana Maseehullah رحمه الله

My dear children! I am sure you all want to get married one day? Who doesn’t? But remember what this old man is telling you: When one day your wife in her informal way says: ‘You fool!’ At that time take a mirror and look at your face. If there are signs of anger (a frown) on your face then know that you are not a true man yet!
(Heard by Mawlānā Muḥammad Patel)

Wives are normally personal and informal, as they should be. Husbands and wives have a special intimate and informal relationship which allows them to talk openly to one another. What type of relationship would they have if this informality was not there? But a pity and shame! In this day and age there are no men left – men in the true sense, whether they are husbands or noble heads of families. I have seen another age where the gentry consisted of noblemen and husbands who were men of superb qualities. But times have changed and this age is as different from that, as the heavens differ from the earth.

It is a wife’s privilege to be personal and informal to whatever degree. Even if she uses the informal ‘tū’ (you) instead of the respectful ‘tum’ (thou) when speaking, she does it out of love. Dear servants of Allāh l, do not take her to be disrespectful and rude! Please bear in mind that Allāh l is addressed mostly as ‘tū’.

Ḥaḍrat Wālā (Ḥakīmul ʿUmmah) used to say that: “A person who has love for his wife – what is real and true love, what doubt can there be in his being a walī (friend) of Allāh l?”
Its explanation is as follows: The apron of wilāyat (saintly status) demands an extremely exquisite and fantastic degree of chastity. This means that, in order to aspire to the high state of being a walī of Allāh l, an extremely high degree of modesty and chastity are absolutely essential. So, upon having true love for one’s wife, it follows that one will not gaze lustfully at others. Thus, this person will have an extreme degree of chastity and therefore, what doubt can there be that this is the degree of chastity required for wilāyat and therefore of this person being a walī?

To love one’s wife is not love for someone other than Allāh l. This love is for the sake of Allāh l.
(Majālis Masīḥul ʿUmmah: For Friends – Vol. 1, page 98-99; Vol. 2, page 72)

Source: A TRUE HUMAN BEING –  a compilation of short sayings and advices from the spiritual discourses of Shaykh Muḥammad Masīḥullāh Khān رحمه الل