Question:– A person wrote that he is unable to protect himself from looking at other women. Shaytaan whispers to me that I should look at women now and I will abstain from doing so in the future.
Answer:- You have the ability to abstain from lustful glances but you are not doing so. If one didnt have the ability to save himself then Allah Ta’ala wouldn’t have commanded us to stay away from casting lustful glances. Allah Ta’ala is not an oppressor that will command you to carry out such actions which you are unable to carry out. If a father instructs his two year old kid to carry an item that weighs a ton, it will be regarded as oppression on the child.
We have the full ability and capacity to fulfil every command of Shariat but we do not want to carry it out. We are always looking for excuses. If a person sincerely wants to do it, he will manage to carry it out. It is not that you are unable to safeguard your eyes but it is actually the thief that is within yourself that wants to steal and enjoy.
You will make an excuse by saying that I merely wanted to see whether it was a man or woman that was driving the vehicle. What difference will that make to you? Another reason for not being to control yourself is that you do not use the courage which Allah Ta’ala has bestowed every person with.
Allah Ta’ala gives an example from Hadrat Maulana Rumi رحمه الله. A cow that is being milked doesn’t release all its milk but ensures that it retains some of the milk for its calf. The cow uses the courage that it possesses to retain the milk. Similarly, every person has been blessed with the ability to abstain from sin but we don’t want to use it as we are thieves.
A girl is instructed to bake a cake by the mother. She is lazy so she will make excuses that she is too busy or she doesn’t know how to bake it. If she starts baking the cake then the mother will certainly guide her along but she must use the courage which she has been blessed with.
A little child starts walking. The father gives his little finger to the baby but the baby thinks that it is walking. The child grew a little and now the father allows the child to sit on his lap whilst driving. When the child returns home, it tells the mother that it had driven the car for five kilometres. Similarly, you use the courage and Allah Ta’ala will assist you.
A person has the courage to abstain from sins, to abstain from backbiting and slandering, to wake up for Tahajjud Salaah, etc. If a person didn’t have the courage, Allah Ta’ala wouldn’t have commanded us to abstain from sins. Allah Ta’ala mentions in the Quraan,
لا يكلف الله نفسا الا وسعها
Allah Ta’ala does not burden a soul except according to its capacity
Hadrat advises that he should protect himself from this poisonous arrow as this lustful glance is Haraam. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam is reported to have said,
النظر سهم من سهام ابليس مسموم من تركها مخافتى ابدلته ايمانا يجد حلاوته فى قلبه
The gaze is an arrow from the poisonous arrows of Shaytaan, Whoever leaves it (lustful glances) due to my fear I will change it with the sweetness (of Imaan) which he will find in his heart.
When a person doesn’t use his courage he ends up in endless problems. He is addicted to porn and thinks that nobody can see what he is watching. Then somebody checks his phone and realises that this person was busy on porn sites. He was busy chatting with other women all the time and tries to show a false front. These things don’t work. We should be sincere and be concerned of our Islaah all the time; else one will finally reach a stage where he will knock his head very hard. Death will approach and a person hasn’t repented for his sins.
A person can deceive and lie to his wife, in laws, parents, etc. but the reality will be exposed at the time of death. It is recorded in a narration of Bukhari Sharif,
زنا العين النظر
Zinah of the eyes is looking (at Haraam women)
The actual sequence suppose to be such that the word “An Nazr” suppose to appear first. The word ‘Zinah’ has been brought first to indicate as to what an evil way the eye can be used. The word ‘Zinah’ is abhorred by all, yet it is used in the Hadith and brought first.
Unfortunately, people are addicted to porn. The cellphone is in one’s hands all the time, whether one is in the toilet, or out in Jamaat, or one is sitting in I’tikaaf, or one is in the Khanqah, or one is in Makkah Sharif and Madinah Sharif, one is busy watching porn in all situations. The authorities that have reasonable control are worried about the issue and try controlling it but it is difficult. A person concerned of Islaah should avoid evil actions such as looking at women on the street and chatting with women. Those that ask for the remedy are on the way to their Islaah. How many are guilty yet they are showing a false front? Allah Ta’ala has his way of informing yet one shows his false front. Sins is a substation of Jahannam. The conditions of Jahannam come upon a person and he faces various problems, and he is never in peace. He may lie to people but his Aamaal is something else.
If a person continues making Tauba and expressing his weakness then his sins are not even recorded by Allah Ta’laa. It is mentioned in the Hadith, “The one that repents from sins is like one that hasn’t sinned.” Such a person will enjoy the conditions of Jannat. Each person should see the direction of his connection. Is it towards Jahannam or towards Jannat?
A person can experience it himself. By committing a little sin, he will find that he has a connection with Jahannam. On the other hand, a person that performs the Fardh Salaah and his life does not have much Nawafil, he will find that he has a connection with Allah Ta’ala.