The Tale of the Eleven Women (Ḥadīth Umm Zarʿ)

Among the most captivating narrations in the Sunnah is the famous Ḥadīth Umm Zarʿ, narrated by Sayyidah ʿĀishah (RA). In this remarkable account, eleven women gathered together and agreed that each would speak openly and honestly about her husband, withholding neither praise nor criticism. The narration provides a fascinating glimpse into human relationships and ultimately highlights the beauty of noble character within marriage.

The First Woman

The first woman compared her husband to the meat of a lean camel placed on a steep mountain. It was difficult to reach and not worth the effort. She viewed him as a man with little benefit and much difficulty.

The Second Woman

The second woman remarked that if she were to begin describing her husband, she would never finish mentioning his faults. Both his apparent and hidden defects were too many to recount.

The Third Woman

The third woman described her husband as a person who left her in a state of fear and uncertainty. If she spoke critically of him, he would divorce her; if she kept quiet, she remained suspended without proper attention or care.

The Fourth Woman

The fourth woman likened her husband to the pleasant night of Tihāmah, neither excessively hot nor cold. He was moderate in temperament and easy to live with. [sunnah.com], [hadithweb.com]

The Fifth Woman

The fifth woman described her husband as being like a leopard at home and a lion outside. He was relaxed and easy-going within the home, yet courageous and strong among people. [sunnah.com], [hadithweb.com]

The Sixth Woman

The sixth woman criticised her husband for being self-centred. When he ate, he consumed everything; when he drank, he left nothing; and when he slept, he paid little attention to her feelings or concerns.

The Seventh Woman

The seventh woman portrayed her husband as a man burdened with faults and rough manners. Living with him brought hardship and discomfort.

The Eighth Woman

The eighth woman spoke positively of her husband, describing him as soft and gentle like a rabbit and pleasantly fragrant like a sweet-smelling plant.

The Ninth Woman

The ninth woman described her husband as noble, respected, generous, and hospitable. His standing among people was elevated and his home was known for receiving guests.

The Tenth Woman

The tenth woman praised her husband, Mālik, declaring that he was even greater than anything she could adequately describe. His generosity and hospitality were renowned.

The Eleventh Woman: Umm Zarʿ

The final and lengthiest account was given by Umm Zarʿ regarding her husband, Abu Zarʿ. She described how he transformed her life, raising her from poverty to comfort and honour. He adorned her with jewellery, provided generously for her, elevated her status, and filled her life with happiness. She spoke glowingly not only of him but also of his mother, his children, and the atmosphere of his household.

Although Abu Zarʿ later divorced her and married another woman, Umm Zarʿ never forgot his kindness and generosity. Even after remarrying, she continued to remember him with admiration and gratitude.

The Beautiful Conclusion

After ʿĀishah (RA) completed the narration, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“I am to you as Abu Zarʿ was to Umm Zarʿ.”

In another narration:

“I am to you as Abu Zarʿ was to Umm Zarʿ, except that I will never divorce you.”

Reflections on the Ḥadīth

This remarkable narration presents a spectrum of personalities and relationships. Some husbands were harsh, selfish, neglectful, or overbearing. Others were balanced, generous, gentle, respected, and loving. Through these eleven descriptions, the narration captures many of the realities of human nature and married life.

Yet the narration does not conclude with criticism or praise of any individual husband. Rather, it culminates in a profound statement from the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. The Prophet ﷺ listened attentively, understood the emotions behind the story, and then reassured ʿĀishah (RA) by likening his relationship with her to the most admired relationship mentioned in the entire account. [annahda.com.ng], [sunnah.com]

The lasting message of Ḥadīth Umm Zarʿ is that people are remembered long after wealth, beauty, or status have faded. What remains in hearts is kindness, generosity, dignity, consideration, and noble character. It was these qualities that caused Abu Zarʿ to be remembered so fondly, and it was these qualities that were embodied most perfectly by the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.

May Allah Taʿālā grant us beautiful character, sincere compassion for others, and the ability to follow the noble example of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ in all our relationships. Āmeen