Hakeemul Ummah Hazrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thaanwi Sahib رحمه الله has said in Aadaabul Mu’aasharah that we nowadays rear our children in a similar manner as cattle are reared.
The cattle are well fed and fattened and eventually they are slaughtered. Similarly, we feed our children well, adorn them with (designer) garments and (accessories) jewellery and rear them in luxury. The ultimate end of such children is Jahannum. In the process, the parents will also suffer punishment due to the children being brought up in luxuries whilst at the same time being deprived of proper Islamic training. Many of our children are ignorant of the importance of Salaah and Saum (fasting); the fault lying with the parents who have deliberately kept the children ignorant of the fundamentals of Deen.
The children of the Ummah are the future of the Ummah.
How wisely has it not been said: Give me the child of today and I will give you the man of tomorrow!
Great personalities were moulded during their childhood. Thus we need to be extremely careful how we rear our children.
Moulana Thanvi Rahmatullahi alayh has given the following advice with regards to how to bring up children:
If it is a girl, do not give her the habit of worrying too much about plaiting and parting her hair or wearing very stylish clothing.
When a child persists or insists on having something, do not fulfill all his wishes or else he will become spoilt.
Prevent the child from talking very loudly or shouting. Especially if it is a girl and she speaks in this loud shouting manner, you should scold her and reprimand her. If you do not do this, this habit will remain when she grows up.
Safeguard your child from speaking or mixing with children who have evil habits, who are not interested in their learning, who are in the habit of wearing stylish clothes or eating extravagant dishes.
Always inculcate a hatred for the following actions in your child, i.e. teach him to hate the following acts:
- becoming angry,
- speaking lies,
- envying someone,
- carrying tales,
- defending whatever he does or says,
- to unnecessarily “make up” stories,
- speaking excessively without any benefit,
- laughing unnecessarily or laughing excessively,
- cheating or deluding someone,
- not thinking about or not differentiating between good and bad.
If any of these acts or traits are found in him, stop him immediately and warn him.
Occasionally you should give them some money so that they may purchase whatever they wish.
Teach them the etiquette and manners of eating, sitting and standing in gatherings.
The habit of waking up early should be inculcated in the child.
When the child reaches the age of seven, inculcate the habit of offering salât.
As far as possible, make him learn under a religious-minded teacher.
Comment: This is very important. Allowing an immoral, sinful person to teach our children in private non – Muslim schools etc. will surely have disastrous consequences.
A pious person, on the other hand, will influence our children to do good deeds and have respect and the Fear of Allah Ta’ala, Insha-Allah.